i feel sad and hopeless i realise the last few days that i really need help ugently.i need to talk to someone who will be able to help me understand what is happening to me.at times i am happy and complete but other times i am afraid for my life and my baby's life,i struggle to fall asleep at home with my baby i feel like i will loose my mind.I cant go on like this i want to enjoy being her mother and find enjoy in life again.i think many things contributed in my pnd,my boyfriend had an affair while i was pregnant i still feel like he is sleeping with someone now but cant prove.i had an abortion when i was 19 years old,i wasnt ready to be a mom.and when i was 20 i had a miscarriage i was relieved and disappointed the same time so since from those two situations i have always felt a sense of loss somehow.i love my baby to bits so i need to be a good mom for her and i want to enjoy life again.[flash][/flash]