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Providing information and support for women who are experiencing Postnatal Depression, and their families.
 
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 PND is a dark place to be!

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Blompot



Posts : 1
Join date : 2008-10-03

PostSubject: PND is a dark place to be!   Fri Oct 03, 2008 3:04 pm

Hi,
My little princess, Kayla, is 15 months old. I had a very difficult and painful normal birth. The pnd started at the hospital already. I just wanted to go home! I felt alone, worthless, scared, helpless to name but a few. I didn't come right with breastfeeding which made me feel even worse! She had trouble with reflux.... also made it worse. Luckily I had my mother and mother in law and m y hubby with me, otherwise...........I don't even want to think about it.
It is 15 months later and my little princess is becoming the most beautiful little girl! I love her to death!
But still..........that deep dark place/hole is still there! I't wont go away! I'm on anti-dep pills for almost six months. It did go better with the pills! I must admit. But it is as though it went down, then up with the pills and now downhill again.
Sometimes everything seems to much! I'm sometimes scared to be alone with her because I feel I'm a bad mother and I'm not good enough to look after her. There must be someone else with me! And I am not the mother that I thought I was going to be! I had all these expectations and dreams.....!
I always ask everybody else's opinion regarding her. I mean serious...... I AM THE MOTHER! I AM SUPPOSE TO KNOW BEST!
But, I can go on like this forever and ever but I also have to work, so regards from the deep dark place!
Sleep blompot
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katleho
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PostSubject: i know what you are going through   Mon Oct 06, 2008 11:51 am

i also want someone to be with me when i am left with my daughter (13 months )i will be scared that i might hurt her and myself. those are feeling that paralyses me because i love her to death but cannot get why i think i might hurt her and myself i feel depressed most of the time but then i would pray and all would be fine. I do think it gets better with time and accepting your role as a mom.......i am praying to God to get better.... Crying or Very sad
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