Baby 11months - can I now develop PND?

I would like to hear if there is other mom's who developed PND at a later stage. I felt more emotional the past week, but accounted it to other stuff like PMS etc. However, I've been crying the past two days without feeling better and it won't stop. I'm despondend and very tired. I used my baby as an excuse to get out of a social visit last night. I just feel like nothing I do is ever good enough for anyone. I work fulltime from home, but have all the other domestic responsibilities as well as picking up, bathing and feeding my two children (7yrs & 11mnths). I have slept with my baby in our room since her birth. My husband is sleeping in the study to get sleep for his work. He comes home at 19:00/19:30 in the evenings - by then I just want to fall down and sleep. But then it's putting baby to bed, washing bottles, clean up the kitchen and house (otherwise I do it during my working hours) and then I go to sleep about 22:30. By then the baby wakes again. First time of many times during the night and sometimes stays awake for 2 to 3 hours. I really don't think I can keep this up anymore. I can't tell my husband how I feel - he won't understand. Nobody will understand. Is this just tiredness or can one develop PND at this late stage? I don't feel like hurting my baby, however, when she wakes up at night I get so frustrated/angry with her, that I feel like hitting her very hard. I have done it - fortunately the nappy absorbed it, but she was so unhappy, and then I felt like a total witch. How can a mom hit her baby when she loves her to pieces? I never think about hurting her though - it's just when she cries and I am so tired that its a reaction to want to hit her. I'm really going to stress out if I'm the only one that feels like this.

Hi

Know the feeling, but all that I can say is: You are not alone and your husband will understand. You need to get some proper sleep. Talk to husband and ask if you can discuss how you can split some of the work.

Rotate who does the cleaning as you both deserve some rest. Also maybe ask him over a week-end or one night in the week that he gets up for the baby. You can then get a proper night rest. Wonders what some good sleep can do for your positive mind set.

I have also lost it quite a few times and now realize that I need to do something before I really loose it and then it is so late.

Relax and know that you are a good mom and wife. We just need to speak our needs. Feel free to chat if you need to. Good luck.

Hi Sauron

You are not alone as you can also see from Lily's reply. Motherhood is a very difficult job and exhausting. You do need time out and your husband needs to be more helpful. It might also be a good idea for you to see a counsellor just to assess whether you are going through PND. PND can develop at any time during the first 12 months after the birth of a baby. You might like to make contact with your clinic sister and see if she can give you some good advice on how to get your baby to sleep through the night.

Please let me know where in SA you live and I will try and link you to a counsellor in your area. Email me at info@pndsa.org.za.

Take care of yourself.

With kindest regards

Colleen Knutsen
Manager
Post Natal Depression Support Association (PNDSA)

Tel : (021)797-4498